Nicki Minaj Mighty Booty Shakes, Thumps, and Bites in ‘Anaconda’

Okay, the entirety of the Anaconda song is quite craptastic, and the video, well, it's inane, save for one large game-changing element -- massive Nicki Minaj and friends booty. But especially Nicki's. That Thor's Hammer of a thumper steals the show in this otherwise mindless and quite shoddily produced musical homage to Sir Mix-A-Lot I suppose. Not sure.

I do know that few on this planet have an asstastic like Nicki's that can make it move like that. Sure, some parts of it are artificially augmented, but this is Hollywood, the show, the movies, things are fake and still often quite compelling. There really aren't any guardians in our galaxy. But for two hours I bought into that happily. So too am I buying into the idea of playing paddleball with Nicki's mighty behind being the paddle and me being the ball on the string. I can't believe I managed to say that with using the word testicles. Enjoy.

Lucie Wilde Topless For So Very Much of What You Need

 

One thing my stoic Uncle Sal has stuck with me since childhood to this very day. After almost three years of gently rubbing his beard and never speaking, Sal leaned into me one evening and said, William, sometimes you need just to rub your face in a couple of big old flesh cans. Then he returned to cracking the sunflower seeds he eternally consumed.

You don't soon forget such sagely words from one of the few relatives who never felt obliged to test your tolerance for pain. I'm often reminded of Uncle Sal's wisdom while staring down the barrels of such unholy goodies as the faptastically enlarged funbags on Lucie Wilde. Oh, I'm sure the critical among us have some criticisms for Lucie. As for me, I just heeding Sal's advice, virtually at least, and letting my mind bounce up against Lucie's mammoth mammaries like a pinball working it's way against the clanking bumpers. Such fun indeed. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Hotness, Eva Green Sideboob, Rosario Dawson Cleavage Highlight the Sin City 2 Premiere

Anything Alba. You know my motto. It doesn't hurt when Jessica Alba brings along many of her hot friends like Eva Green, Rosario Dawson, and Nicky Whelan to walk the red carpet of the Sin City 2 premiere in Los Angeles.

This film is already a no-brainer on my must-see list, being both a fan of the first film in the series and, yes, the hot ladies. All of them looked so very good last night, especially Jessica Alba who forever puts sin in my jeans. That's a figure of speech, Though the day it becomes literally, I will report back with photos and diagrams and third-party authentication. Jessica moves me just about like no other. Her seamless transition from hot mommy to wicked hot glamorous star to the shower, where she forever resides in my dreams. Enjoy.

Adrianne Curry Bikini Pimping Time in Sin City

It's cosplay queen Adrianne Curry's time for a little bikini exhibition at the Encore Pool Club in Las Vegas. August is not traditionally the most temperate of climates for delighting in the outdoors in Sin City, but for the chance to see part-time fitness instructor and full-time social media hot bodied Adrianne Curry in a two piece, you can handle a little cook and burn.

The idea of jumping into a pool filled with guys reacting to the site of Adrianne Curry's tight booty in a thong isn't all that enticing in theory or practice. I think I'd sit by the cabana and hope she mistakes me for her submissive towel and lotion boy. Maybe snap a towel at me if I miss a spot. That'd be something that would not stay in Vegas, I assure you. Enjoy.

Humpday Huzzah! Hayley-Marie Coppin Wears Little More Than a Sheer Dress (Then That Comes Off)

 

Take two Hayley-Marie Coppin leers and call me in the morning is what my personal physician should say to me when I call him thrice a a week complaining of chest and gonad region pains. She really is my soothing balm for what ails me. The glamorous glamour model strips down to her lean boobtastic frame with the greatest of ease. In this case, she starts with barely a sheer window curtain around her lust-inducing body, making getting to the good bits rather expedient.

On Wednesday's we like to celebrate, honor, and all-around genuflect before the finest female forms flashing the most faptastic funbags in our general direction. Hayley-Marie Coppin makes me middle of the work week feel like 2am at a bar when an attractive woman has just told me, 'Yes, I'd like to see your Mint-in-Box He-Man action figure collection'. Very positive indeed. Huzzah!

Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini Mighty Asstastic Booty Show in Miami

If there's one thing BBW turned MILFtastic fitness guru Jennifer Nicole Lee knows, it's booty. In fact, she told me herself in person her asstastic is her favorite body part to work out. I think she said that, I was kind of lose in a haze staring at her mighty thumper while she was talking so she could have said hair or nose. But I'm pretty sure I heard the word booty. Or maybe I was just thinking it really strongly.

Jennifer took to the scene of her favorite Miami Beach pool for a little bikini thumper show. She really does have an impressive bottom, for a veteran hot bodied mommy. It takes many squats. I know. That's why I've purchased a director's chair so I can comfortably view Jennifer while she's tightening her glutes. I hate to sweat. Enjoy.

Taylor Swift Shakes It Off, In Far Too Many Clothes

If you were expecting Taylor Swift to shake off her clothing more in her brand new pop star pop ditty featuring pop beats and auto-tuned, well, lower your expectations. Still, there's no denying this high-spirited blonde has been hitting the gym hard and perfecting her six inches taller than all of her peers diva body.

We do get the classic ballerina, cheerleader, gym rat, and other costumed poses, but not nearly as much skin as I think you'll find when we post the new Nicki Minaj music video later. Taylor seems to be going after the Miley crowd without the body baring and crotch grabbing of that other pop music star. It's just not her thing. Which is a shame, because it would be rather stellar to see the statuesque Taylor Swift really shake things off. Maybe next time. Enjoy.