Sofia Vergara Sultry Cleavetastic Cooking Hot for Chef Premiere

When it comes to red carpet competitions, I pity the poor woman who even attempts to keep up with Sofia Vergara. Between that veteran hot body, those twin fiestas of joy, and the experience to put it all together in one camera-attracting ball of must-shoot hotness, Sofia is really the queen of the red carpet hill. She's an unstoppable force of the decked out sextastic, again at the premiere of Chef at the Tribeca Film Festival.

I have a feeling Sofia Vergara looks wicked hot and put together just going to take a tinkle in the morning. I might be projecting my dreams a bit, but she just always looks like a million bucks. Oh, to be the guy who gets to cinch up her blessedly bodacious top. Who I wouldn't knock into the river to get that gig. Enjoy.

Zippora Seven Is Hotter and More Topless Than Ever (Though I Suppose Either You Are Or You’re Not)

 

Just hearing the name Zippora Seven makes me smile these days. I know what comes next is likely going to be something broody but alluring and all-around topless sextastic as is the case in her new shoot with Jason Lee Parry. Zippora is still a rather young Australian model with a fast rising star, a name built for fame, and a body built to induce enough passion to make everything else fall into place.

Even as I'm ogling Zippora's boobtastic wonderments, just ever so perfect, I can't imagine she has a ceiling on the places she will go or the number of times I will stare at her nekkid on her way there. I'm consistent, if nothing else. Enjoy.

The Mystery Of The Phantom Pooper

No One Poops On A Slide In Ypsilanti And Gets Away With It!

Some fiend in Ypsilanti, Michigan has been pooping on the slides at a local playground. What kind of monster would drop a deuce on a children's plaything? No one knows. But that doesn't mean that the good people of Ypsilanti are taking this lying down. They've erected billboards all over town asking people to identify the phantom pooper. The billboards read "Help us flush the pooper"; "Do your civic doody. Report the pooper"; and "Help us catch the poopetrator." So, far they have only wished in one hand and crapped in the other and one hand has most definitely been more full. Still, these brave people's crusade to keep their city's slides clear of mookie stinks is inspiring. No one gave a crap, (if you will), when some kid would plop in the sandbox at my local playground. We were told to just grin and bare it. But the people of Ypsilanti have drawn a line in the sand and said that they will not turn a blind eye while their town gets flushed down the toilet. No, sir or mam. NO, SIR OR MAM.

 

Here’s What ‘The Late Show With Stephen Colbert’ Will Be Like

Meet the new guy...

Ever since CBS announced they had hired Stephen Colbert to take over The Late Show for David Letterman when he retires next year, people have been wondering what a show run by the real Colbert will be like. Everybody loves The Colbert Report, but when that show ends it's run this fall, Colbert's blowhard conservative pundit persona will be retired. And despite the glimpses of the real Stephen Colbert we've seen in interviews here and there over the years, nobody really had any idea what he'll be like on a talk show...until last night.

Last night, the incoming host of the Late Show sat down with outgoing host on for a long, 12-minute interview, and for the first time we got a real sense for what the show will be like.

In a nutshell? It will be pretty awesome. Colbert was sharp, witty, and gregarious, and if he has half the rapport with his regular guests as he did with Letterman, we're in for a real treat.

Sara Malakul Lane Hot and Cleavy and Highly Suggestive in a White Body Suit

Sara Malakul Lane. Hmm, where have I heard that name before? Shaktopus! Only one of the best movies ever, made even better by Sara's hot and bodacious female form. Now, the Thai-British actress is back and more boobtastic than ever in a photoshoot that seems to be interplaying water with human anatomical reactions in a manner than makes me delightfully uncomfortable.

Sara has all the tools for a big breakout hottie, I'm starting at two of those tools now. That faptastic body and bosom and those alluring looks lead me to believe that Sharktopus 2 can't possible be far behind. Enjoy.

Humpday Huzzah! Summer St. Claire Teasy Topless Bodysuit Goodness In Some Lucky Building

 

How come I never get home to find girls the likes and form and sextastic of Summer St. Claire stripping out of their little workout things in my living room. I once came home and found the neighbor lady who has my emergency key eating all my cereal, but that's not the same. She wasn't super hot, just super high. No, it's this delicious treat of a glamour model I want to find bestowing her visual gifts with preens and poses and funbag dangling when I get home from a hard day's work. Okay, so it's not all that hard, still I would be extremely polite and appreciative and even use my fancy words around Summer. Hot topless girls deserve fancy words.

On this humpday of the week, we like to celebrate all that jiggles righteously in our hearts and minds and retinal cones that make the dreams all possible. Summer St. Claire more than fits that bill, she completes it. Huzzah!

Fabiana Semprebom Goes Sempreboom! For Despi Swimwear

Oh, Brazil, the cradle of all things bikini hot. Another bestowed gift in the form of ten year veteran model hottie Fabiana Semprebom showing off in one pieces and two pieces for Despi Swimwear.

If Fabiana doesn't have the perfect female form for modeling bikinis, than I need to go back to my drawing board. Literally, I have a board where I sketch ladies bodies in swimsuits, or less, trying to sketch out my ideal. Not that there is one single ideal. There are a thousand. And Fabiana definitely fits more than one of them. Just so hot. I think I broke my pencil. Enjoy.